“You’re the best coach ever Coach Ray.”
The 2013 Oak Grove Runts are my favorite football team of all time. Yes, I love my Dallas Cowboys, and the Army team is still the pride and dream of every heart in grey; but no team will ever top that group of 5, 6, and 7-year-old kids that I had the privilege of coaching. No team will ever top the Runts.
Back in 2012, after moving to San Jose, California, a coworker who found out about my college football past approached me with a request. His son played for a pee wee football team and their coach from the previous year had moved out of town. That team was the Runts. He (my coworker) didn’t want to see the boys broken up and spread out amongst the other teams in the league. He wasn’t going to sit back and watch that happen. The problem, however, was that he’d never coached football before. Sure, he was a football fan and played a little growing up, but he’d never coached. His proposition was simple. He would sign up as the head coach. He would handle everything administratively. He’d ensure we did everything the league required. He’d make sure that all of the parents had the information that they needed. He’d get us all of the things we needed to run a successful practice....and I would teach the kids the X’s and O’s. At that time, I was living alone with my dog and was trying to establish a community in a new place. I reluctantly said yes, thinking primarily about my goal of meeting new people and getting to know my new city. I accomplished both of those things, but I had no idea just how important that yes would end up being.
I remember the moment I knew those boys would change my life. During the preseason we were at practice on a weeknight and my work day had been a rough one. We were early into the practice and my quarterback is squirming as he gets under center. “What is wrong with you son,” I remember asking. His answer? “I have to go to the bathroom Coach.” What do you say to that as a coach? “Go to the bathroom son,” I replied while grabbing my backup quarterback to go run the play. “I have to go to the bathroom too Coach,” says my backup. “Me too coach, me too coach...” Before I knew it, I had 6 kids lined up to use the bathroom. All that I could do was shake my head and smile. That moment caused a realization. They were babies. They didn’t need “Ray the Supervisor” bringing his problems from work to practice. They needed “Coach Ray.” Levelheaded, fun loving, Coach Ray. I needed to be a positive figure. I needed to make an impact. I had a purpose for being there and I needed to fulfill it.
That season we didn’t have a great record. In fact, we only won one game. But my boys got better each week and I got better as their coach. When the season ended, I was sad. I started the season as a guy who just signed up because I got asked by a friend and wanted to venture out. I ended the season as a coach that loved his boys, his fellow coaches, and his parents. I loved the league and I loved the way coaching those kids made me feel.
The next season, my coworker’s son moved up to the next age group and he wanted to move up with his son. I was so honored when a few of the parents asked me to be the head coach for the next season. I probably said yes before the request was complete. I had my boys back and we had a full year under our belts. The league was in trouble. That season was a lot different. We were a much better team. We finished with just 2 losses and were one of the best teams in the league. My boys played some serious football that year. They ran a fairly complicated offense (relative to the other teams in the league) because they knew the basics of football. They didn’t get called for holding penalties because they knew how to block. They gang tackled with their heads up because they did what they were taught. They swarmed to the ball. I was so proud! Occasionally we’d run into a kid that was just much more talented at 7 than everyone else on the field, but aside from that we were pretty dominant.
As much as I’d like to say that we won the championship that year, doing so would be a lie. We made it to the playoffs but lost early on. But that doesn’t take away from the pride that I felt while coaching that team or the connections that I had with those families and coaches.
I will forever be grateful for those kids. You see, they taught me what purpose is all about. Many people go through life wondering what their purpose is. They chase it. They reach for it. They obsess over it. I personally think that’s a waste of time. I believe we were all put on this earth for the same reason. I believe we all have the same purpose. We are each put here to positively impact as many people as we possibly can. That is our purpose. That is it! It’s that simple. The question shouldn’t be “what is my purpose?” The question should be, “how do I go about achieving it?” It’s the how, not the what.
Almost all of the people that we would consider successful, those that we admire, aren’t where they are simply because they are good at what they do. They are there because what they do impacts so many people. They teach, they innovate, they inspire. They affect millions. That is why they have achieved success. They have found a way to fulfill their purpose at the highest level. Take a look around. Who do you admire? Who do you consider successful? Why do you admire them? Why are they successful in your eyes? On the surface, it may seem like it’s because of what they are good at but if you really peel back the onion, I guarantee it’s because of their impact.
So, what do you think your purpose is? I would argue that it has nothing to do with the position or title that you hold and everything to do with how you use that position or title. I’m not the expert in this space, but I don’t think anyone can go wrong with trying to do right by as many people as possible. Increase your impact and change your life. Increase your impact and fulfill your purpose.
Oh yeah, that quote at the beginning of this piece.... Akino McGee said that to me at one of our final games that season. Akino was one of my running backs and his mom, Tenisha, was our team mom. Granted, Akino was 7 so he hadn’t had many coaches at that point, but the message was clear. On that kid, and hopefully the rest of those boys, I had made a positive impact. Akino and that team taught me what purpose was all about. I’m hopeful that I made an impact on all of them, because those boys and those families definitely made an impact on me. In many ways, they changed my life.
Like many football fans every year, I will root for my Dallas Cowboys to win the Super Bowl this season. And if they happen to pull it off, I’ll celebrate with them like I’m on the team. My Cowboys will always hold their place as my team. But they will always come second to a group of kids from 2013. Those 5, 6, and 7-year olds impacted me in such a good way. No team, not even my Cowboys, will ever take their place. No team will ever be as special as the Runts.
